Days like these

Days like these make me feel stupid about getting worked up about the "small things." Being too tired to play with my Ella. Feeling too sick to spend a little extra time hugging on my Ainslie. Not paying attention to my Finn as I nurse him. Sometimes I get anxious on my way home from work, knowing I'll be hitting the second shift alone, getting the babies fed and cleaned and ready for the next day. But days like these remind me that I am one of the blessed ones who takes their children for granted. Instead of sweating the small stuff, I should be enjoying it. "Swimming in it until my fingers prune," as Meg Ryan's character said on French Kiss.

A year ago my best friend lost her son. I remember rocking my 6 month old to bed that night, stroking her hair, thanking God for her, crying in pain for my friend who was in agony. Just the night before I had cried about being overwhelmed in an "unexpected" pregnancy. I was so stupid!

Tonight I cry again as another friend is losing her toddler to brain cancer. I wish I could do something for Moms in pain like this. It's like, if I can cry for them enough, maybe it'll ease their pain, but I know it won't. I can't even fathom that ache.

I feel guilty for lagging on my way home and avoiding my nightly Mom duties. There are some Moms out there who'd be dying to do that with their baby. Please pray for peace for Henry and Jonathan's families and for comfort for Jonathan as he nears the end of his little life.

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