As most children her age, Ella has begun to vocalize her wishes to be older. She has mentioned that she wishes she was grown-up several times, and each time I tell her to enjoy being a little girl. I distinctly remember having the same desires at that age. I would ride in the backseat of my Mom's car on the way to school and see the older kids out the window, waiting at the bus stop and wish, wish, wish I was old enough to do the same. I also remember my parents driving through Humble and as we would pass the middle school and high school, they would tell me that is where I would go to school when I was older....now that is 14 years behind me. I always feel bittersweet when we pass the elementary school by our house and Ella yells out, "That's gonna be MY SCHOOL!" I guess I know how soon she'll be saying, "That used to be my school."
Today as I was rushing to pack clothes for the girls trip to my grandparents and get everyone dressed, Ella said, "Mommy, you are always busy. You always have stuff to do." To which I replied, "You are right Ella, I don't have a lot of time to play do I? That's why you shouldn't want to grow up so fast."
"Adults don't get to play," she asked? And I hated my answer. "No, not that much."
Today on the way to meet my grandparents in Cleveland Ella said another thing to me that punched me in the gut. "Mommy, I just saw a cross on the side of the road and I think its the cross that Jesus died on." Tears welled up in her eyes, her bottom lip puffed out and I could hear the emotion in her voice as she said it. I assured her that Jesus' cross was much bigger and very far away. While at first it was cute, it soon became a painful reminder that not just Ella's body is growing up. Her mind is too. I feel like everything I say and do and expose her to, now more than ever, determines her future.
I tell my 3rd and 4th grade students all the time how "Now is the time you decide the person you are going to be and the paths you are going to take." It sounds so dramatic, but it's true. It's even more dramatic now that it will shortly be MY daughter making decisions that will shape her life, long after I am gone. I can't always control what she will be exposed to, but I hope I can prepare her mind and heart on how to react to any situation she faces, and I hope that reaction is to always to turn to God.
Today as I was rushing to pack clothes for the girls trip to my grandparents and get everyone dressed, Ella said, "Mommy, you are always busy. You always have stuff to do." To which I replied, "You are right Ella, I don't have a lot of time to play do I? That's why you shouldn't want to grow up so fast."
"Adults don't get to play," she asked? And I hated my answer. "No, not that much."
Today on the way to meet my grandparents in Cleveland Ella said another thing to me that punched me in the gut. "Mommy, I just saw a cross on the side of the road and I think its the cross that Jesus died on." Tears welled up in her eyes, her bottom lip puffed out and I could hear the emotion in her voice as she said it. I assured her that Jesus' cross was much bigger and very far away. While at first it was cute, it soon became a painful reminder that not just Ella's body is growing up. Her mind is too. I feel like everything I say and do and expose her to, now more than ever, determines her future.
I tell my 3rd and 4th grade students all the time how "Now is the time you decide the person you are going to be and the paths you are going to take." It sounds so dramatic, but it's true. It's even more dramatic now that it will shortly be MY daughter making decisions that will shape her life, long after I am gone. I can't always control what she will be exposed to, but I hope I can prepare her mind and heart on how to react to any situation she faces, and I hope that reaction is to always to turn to God.
Comments
Love you, and love that sweet Ella too!