To my first born:

Ella Grace,

I have had lots of thoughts on becoming a mother of two. It's a simple position that many find themselves in. I will share the title with gazillions of mothers through time, but I can't help but wonder how my heart will change.

I can't imagine what love will be like after tommorow. I can't imagine my heart any bigger -- but I'm told that's what happens. I can't imagine loving another human as much as I love you, but I hear it's gonna happen.

Just know that you were my absolute FIRST true love. You taught be about what unconditional love truly is. I THOUGHT I understood a mother's love before you, but I was clueless. You hold a spot in my heart that no other man, woman or child can replace. You, in your tiny, newborn body, with no knowledge or speech -- taught me, just by being alive in the world, and needing me.

I know there will times when you are upset with me, or don't understand the decisions I make. Just know that I am doing the best I can, and I do it all out of love for you.

I have often heard the argument about people who feel that they couldn't bring a child into a "world like this." But, who is to say that you won't be the one person who makes a difference in the world? I have every confidence that you can do this, because you have already made such an amazing impact in my world in the short 2 1/2 years that you've been in my life.

Thank you for being such a good girl. I know you are going to be an amazing big sister.

Comments

Heather said…
Oh, that just brought tears to my eyes. I love you sweety. And BOTH your children are beautiful! I hope some day I'll feel the need to catch up! :)