A Friday of Highs and Lows

Friday was crazy emotional for me.

I have been trying so hard to "get it back together" like I had it before Ainslie was born.
You know, get ready in the morning AND be on time after getting everyone else ready to go, and possibly be fully dressed with hair and make up when I get to school. It happens like MAYBE every 2 weeks or so for me....

I thought I was doing so good Friday. I had myself done, my stuff done -- my kids dropped off in time for me to actually be at work on time -- and then I got to school and realized I had forgotten my bottles to pump my milk. UGH! I don't know why, but I went into total melt down in my office and started crying -- not long enough to get it all out, but apparently long enough to make my face look screwed up and be called over the PA system to come help figure out a MORNING VIDEO ANNOUNCEMENT EMERGENGY in the front of the school building.

The rest of my day followed suit. One of my favorite kids who is recovering from luekeimia received an award from the school board and I was crying again....Some 4th grade boys got into a fight on my watch and I was yelling... the day seemed full of some sort of emotion or other.

The good news is, I lost another 3 lbs this week -- mainly from working my tail off and working out with each grade level -- 5 times, 5 days a week. It tends to help burn the fat, apparently.

Today I wanted to go to my home church's 100th Anniversary celebration. I have been talking to my husband about this for a month now. I know he didn't want to go with me, but I really wanted to go -- mainly to show off my beautiful girls and let everyone see how great I know they are. I got up 3 hours before, fed Ainslie, and after rushing to get everyone out the door, still wasn't able to leave on time. So, we left, only to turn back around and come home -- me in tears.

I just can't seem to get it together or get a moments peace. I am so frustrated I can't figure out how to get all the things I need to do, done. It makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

Comments

Heather said…
You need to put hubby in charge of Ella and you in charge of Ainslie. Why didn't you get to go to your church thing? And I don't live THAT far away that I can't come and help you! :o) Just call me.
Kahla said…
(((HUGS))) I think we need Spring Break (or better yet summer break) and we need it fast!! We should get together one weekend, maybe take the kids to Chuck E Cheese or something fun. Hang in there!
Anonymous said…
Dusti,
You sounded so very down. Don't pack yourself with so much you burst.
When things go nuts, you have to walk away and do something totally for yourself and then when you return, it is often easier to think through or handle.
Even the smallest things are treats when you are a mom with her hands full. You might have a small stash of "Skinny Cow", ice cream treats just for days like Friday.
Stephanie said…
Nobody ever has it completely together...you are doing a wonderful job! Don't ya worry - it will get better! One day I went to work with two different shoes on...ok it may have happened twice, but I think of it as my own unique style! hugs!