Saturday, April 10, 2010

Growing up Ella Grace

As most children her age, Ella has begun to vocalize her wishes to be older. She has mentioned that she wishes she was grown-up several times, and each time I tell her to enjoy being a little girl. I distinctly remember having the same desires at that age. I would ride in the backseat of my Mom's car on the way to school and see the older kids out the window, waiting at the bus stop and wish, wish, wish I was old enough to do the same. I also remember my parents driving through Humble and as we would pass the middle school and high school, they would tell me that is where I would go to school when I was that is 14 years behind me. I always feel bittersweet when we pass the elementary school by our house and Ella yells out, "That's gonna be MY SCHOOL!" I guess I know how soon she'll be saying, "That used to be my school."

Today as I was rushing to pack clothes for the girls trip to my grandparents and get everyone dressed, Ella said, "Mommy, you are always busy. You always have stuff to do." To which I replied, "You are right Ella, I don't have a lot of time to play do I? That's why you shouldn't want to grow up so fast."

"Adults don't get to play," she asked? And I hated my answer. "No, not that much."

Today on the way to meet my grandparents in Cleveland Ella said another thing to me that punched me in the gut. "Mommy, I just saw a cross on the side of the road and I think its the cross that Jesus died on." Tears welled up in her eyes, her bottom lip puffed out and I could hear the emotion in her voice as she said it. I assured her that Jesus' cross was much bigger and very far away. While at first it was cute, it soon became a painful reminder that not just Ella's body is growing up. Her mind is too. I feel like everything I say and do and expose her to, now more than ever, determines her future.

I tell my 3rd and 4th grade students all the time how "Now is the time you decide the person you are going to be and the paths you are going to take." It sounds so dramatic, but it's true. It's even more dramatic now that it will shortly be MY daughter making decisions that will shape her life, long after I am gone. I can't always control what she will be exposed to, but I hope I can prepare her mind and heart on how to react to any situation she faces, and I hope that reaction is to always to turn to God.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Mommy is a "Dusti"

I spend most of my time being "Mrs. Moran" or "Mommy" that sometimes, I just forget to be "Dusti." I kinda like being her. I forget how infrequently this happens.

I was invited to go to Cafe Express with my Mom and my sis on Good Friday and it was such a nice treat to go eat and be an adult without worrying about who was doing what at my table. In fact, I felt a bit empty-handed. I ordered southwestern chili that had been topped with raw onions on them, and anyone who knows me, knows how I feel about raw onions... as I scooped them out, Mysti asked if she could try a bite. I instictively fed her the spoonful of onion and chili and she started laughing, "You fed me that like I'm a baby. You scooped it up at the end to make sure I got it all in my mouth." I asked her if she wanted me to scrape her cheeks with the side of my spoon like I do the babies. Guess even during my time away from them, I have to be a Mamma to someone.


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I have 2 lovely daughters and 2 handsome sons, who keep me very busy and a husband who keeps me grounded. I received my BA in Graphic Design Communication in 2003. A year and a half later after working in corporate America as a graphic designer and living through my OWN REAL LIFE "OFFICE SPACE" I got certified as art teacher. I have been teaching since the fall of 2004.